The truth is, I’m a picky reader. I want to be one of those people who can devour any and all books that come their way, and I used to be, back when I was a kid and reading was new and I didn’t write my own books. But the fact of the matter is, I know what I like, and I know what I don’t like. If reading is a hobby for me, if it’s something I enjoy, why would I turn it into something I don’t have fun doing?

Now, let’s talk about The Afterlife of Holly Chase by Cynthia Hand. For all intents and purposes, this looked to be the holiday book of my dreams: retelling of a classic Christmas story, a setting I didn’t expect, a character with a redemption arc. But when it came time to start the book, I ran into the same problem I did with movies like Groundhog Day.

I can’t read a book with a main character that’s supposed to be unlikable. I just can’t do it. It doesn’t matter that I know that she’ll turn it around in the end – Holly Chase made the book so unreadable for me (and it was well-written and intriguing, I just had so much anxiety about the character) that I wasn’t able to get past the first ten pages.

Now, that’s a personal thing that I have. Not everyone is going to pick up Holly Chase and think, “Oh, man, this book gives me anxiety because I don’t like the main character!” In fact, there are plenty of people in my book Facebook group who loved it. So I’m sure it’s a great book.

It’s just not the book for me.

The thing about being involved in the book community is that there is a certain air of “you have to see this through.” You have to finish the book to be able to review it. You have to make it to the last page, even if you’re not having fun anymore. Abandoning a book damns the book, and it damns you – why weren’t you able to finish it? What’s wrong with it? What’s wrong with you?

It’s not something overt that happens, but admit it, we all feel a bit of guilt when we put down a book we can’t finish. It’s admitting defeat! But not really.

You see, I think that guilt over abandoning a book is BS. Maybe it’s because my New Year’s Resolution is to live life with no unwarranted apologies, but I think that when it comes to a hobby, something we’re supposed to enjoy, there is no shame in saying, “This isn’t fun for me, I’m making it fun for me again.”

So here’s the end of my spiel. This year, do yourself a favor. If you don’t like a book, put it down. If you find yourself dreading a read, abandon it. If everyone else is reading something and you really don’t want to, don’t read it. Make reading fun for yourself!

I interrupt the regularly scheduled Lethal White for a quick geek out.

There’s a new Longmire book out.

As I mentioned, I have sorely neglected my reading, but one thing I did do, back in August, was preorder Craig Johnson’s Longmire #14, Depth of Winter. I remembered that I did this last night while in the ER (ovarian cysts are fun), when I re-downloaded the Kindle app onto my phone and discovered, lo and behold, there was Robert Taylor looking like the last good man of the Wild West on the cover of Depth of Winter.

Confession time: I find the character of Longmire to be an attractive one. Here’s why.

The characterization of Walt Longmire is one that I like to call “the last good man.” Everyone around him is fallible, and he is too, but he is aware of this. He knows he’s flawed, and that’s what makes him “good.” He has a strict sense of justice, one that he upholds to the highest regard, but goes outside the law when he realizes the law will not serve him – his own moral code. Other characters that fit this type typically show up in Westerns: Chisolm in The Magnificent 7, Dan Evans in 3:10 to Yuma. (If that tells you anything about the kind of Westerns I watch.) The other characters in the Longmire mystery series are nuanced as well, but none of them strike me quite like Walt Longmire does.

So let’s talk Depth of Winter. This is one of those occasions where Longmire goes outside the law – he has to, Cady’s been kidnapped by his worst enemy. And one thing that we’ve learned about Longmire is that family (including his found family) is his weakness and his strength, so it will be interesting to see how it plays out. I’m about 30% of the way through the book now, and I have to say, it’s not gripping me like a Craig Johnson novel usually does. I think the reason for this is that Walt is the only recognizable character – the rest are new to this book, and I’m really hoping to at least see my beloved Henry Standing Bear soon. There is plenty of action, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve grown to love and care about the other characters for fourteen books – meeting these new ones puts a strange feeling of “new read?” into the novel that I don’t feel like should be there.

I am nothing if not a devoted fan of the series, though, so you bet I’ll keep reading. And don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying it. I’m just missing Henry!

So now, I’m reading… four or five books, actually. Here’s an updated list of what I’m reading:

• Lethal White by Robert Galbraith
• Depth of Winter by Craig Johnson
• The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie R. King
• The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

There are honestly a couple more I want to read (hello, Overdrive), but I’m trying to stop there. I’m planning on getting Lethal White read first, then Depth of Winter, then The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, and then The Song of Achilles if I can handle the audiobook – I’m not doing well on that front.

What do you think should be on my reading list for 2019? Let me know!